two months old...and five things I have learned while having two kids instead of one


Two months!
On top of that, it is almost Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then my birthday, then Christmas, then Kemry's birthday, then {most important of all holidays} tax returns!
We are headed full-steam toward our most busy time of the year.
And I am so excited to include this new little member of our family in all of it.
He is a chunky, ornery, adorable, happy, energized little boy.
He fits in perfectly with his sister ;)

I thought I would jot down some things that having two kids has taught me.
"Taught" is maybe the wrong word.
None of these came as a surprise, but there is a huge difference between "expecting" and "experiencing."

1. It is all way more exhausting, but not really in a horrible way.
Maybe it is because Kemry is a million times more energized than the average toddler {seriously. Ask anyone that knows her. Up early, go go go, no naps {usually and unfortunately}, to sleep late {even though she is in bed by 8:30...}}. She refuses to walk anywhere...she must hop like a bunny. She refuses to sit and color. She must DANCE and color.
Maybe it is because this little man never sleeps. You know all that stuff on BabyCenter that says that your baby needs 17 {or however many} hours of sleep a day? Yeah. Nope. Last night, for example, he was up at 11:30, 3:.00, 4:30, 5:00, 6:00, and is still going at 9:45. 
So, when people ask if I am getting any sleep, I just laugh. Like, literally, hysterically, sleep-deprivedly laugh. 
But these kids keep me so busy and are so wonderful that I usually don't notice until they are both asleep at one time somewhere around 10 or 11. I hate the all-nighters and exhausting days, but I will do them over and over because I love my kids.

2. You still don't have parenting down 100%, despite having another kid.
Tate had a few nights of puking two weeks ago with a little fever on the side.
And, yes. I was curled up on the couch sobbing, "not knowing" what to do.
Of course there wasn't anything TO do, because he was really just fine. 
Parenting, I think, is less of a skill than it is a way of being. A way of loving. A way of selflessness.
They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something. I have clocked over 15,000 hours as a parent and am still far from being an expert. Being a good parent is a choice.

3.Yes, it is possible to love both {or all} your kids equally.
I wrote in this post that I had a hard time leaving Kemry at home as we went to go have Tate at the hospital. There were long talks before even getting pregnant after her about whether we wanted another one because we wouldn't be the Three Amigos anymore {we knew we wanted more kids, so those conversations were short-lived}. My heart was fully occupied with love for Kemry. Was it fair for either to have to split that with another kid? When Tate was born, though, I feel like my heart doubled. I didn't have to take anything away from Kemry. Not my love, my attention, not my time. The same goes the other way for Tate. We had {and still have} to do some adjusting to make sure one kid wasn't being "left out," but my capacity to love and care has grown.

4. You {should} learn the true meaning of selflessness.
Whether you want to or not.
Guys. It took me THREE DAYS to write this post.
That is the amount of free time I have now.
I'm not complaining because we CHOSE to have kids, knowing what was coming.
But it was still an adjustment. 
When you have only one kid who is a little older, they are somewhat autonomous. 
With just Kemry, I could get the dishes done, read a book, get a shower in, etc., while helping her when she needed it.
Even when she was a newborn, I could get things done during her naps {or take one myself!}.
Now with two, {for now} my "free-time" is limited.
Regardless, it will happen.
So you either embrace it or trudge through it grumpily.
I can either spend an hour on the computer and listen to my baby fuss and my toddler whine, just so I can have "me" time, or I can play on the floor with both and actually maybe have some fun, too.
 I won't tell you how long it has been since my last shower, or how many days it will take to do my laundry and dishes {or when I will post in my blog next! September yielded ONE post...yikes!}, but I will tell you that I have decided to stop my kids from whining and crying.
And I do that by paying attention to and loving them.
Not that I am perfect at it. Far from it. But I am sure trying. 
For all our sakes.

5. You learn to go with the flow a little better.
No kid is the same. No baby is the same. No pregnancy is the same.
We should all know that by now.
But I had a hard time accepting that.
I really, really, really like lists.
And planning.
And having everyting sorted and figured out.
I am very Type-A.
And when things get a little off, I get anxious.
Like super anxious.
So parenthood is always an adventure for me.
Breastfeeding was a no-go with Kemry.
With Tate, however, it has been the easiest thing in the world.
Kemry slept great at night from the beginning.
Even if he is in our bed, Tate is horrible {as we have already covered}.
I was set on having Kemry potty-trained in one week, just like ever other parent out there.
Nooooo way, Jose. We have been working on this for about 6 months now.
And we are alllllllmost done!
Throw your expectations out the window.
I thought I would lose the baby weight LOTS faster than I am.
I thought Kemry would still take naps every day like clockwork.
I thought we would bypass the terrible twos since they hadn't appeared yet.
I thought there would be jealousy surrounding a new baby in the house.
I thought we would have more {or any!} medical problems with Tate.
And I have been so so wrong.
For some things, I am sad I was wrong, but for others, I couldn't be happier or more thankful.
I am {slowly} learning to take some chill-pills, let me dishes pile up, and embrace the quirks of every day.

And that is all I have to say about that.

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