a few thoughts on this pregnancy {a mini-baby update}


They say every pregnancy is different.
And I fully believe that to be true.
 This pregnancy is 100% more difficult on my body, my emotions, and my spirit.
Of the bazillion appointments we have gone to, we have only left a handful feeling great.
All the rest have brought bad news or more little reasons to worry.
We went back to the specialist today for our second level 2 ultrasound.
Overall, baby boy is measuring a week ahead, which we were thrilled about!
He looked adorable and is so so so active.
The second kidney is still not where it should be but also doesn't really look like it is fully in his pelvis, and it seems to be functioning fine.
But, alas, his stomach is only measuring in the 15th percentile.
While they don't start to worry about lack of growth until they sink under the 10th percentile mark, we were sure hoping he wouldn't be riding that close to the line.
I don't mind being induced, but we at least want to make it to 34 weeks if we can...?
And then there is the whole heart drama.
It is bigger than normal?
I think?
I am so lost in medical terms and doctors trying to not freak us out to remember exactly what is wrong each time we go in.
So, alas, there might be a heart defect?
Maybe there is nothing wrong?
Regardless, we get to go to ANOTHER specialist for a fetal echocardiogram.
And I am so dreading it.
 What if there is something wrong?
What if it is serious?
What if it is nothing and we have been stressing over a simple anomaly?

The doctor today didn't really seem too concerned about anything, but it seems like no one has been "too concerned" about anything this whole time, and yet we still keep finding hiccups.
Along with all the crazy emotions that go along with this insane mess of a pregnancy, I am physically exhausted.
Kemry is so active {bless her heart}, and her terrible twos have hit full force.
My hemoglobin levels are low as well, so I get to pop iron supplements.
I have at least 19 more doctors appointments to go to in these next 12 weeks.
My hips hurt, my back hurts, my ribs hurt, my head hurts.
I have never felt so miserable in my whole life.

And yet, I also feel so blessed.
We prayed and prayed and prayed for the chance to have this little guy.
Sure, the stress is through the roof, but we are still so tickled that we get to have a newborn all over again.
We are already so in love with this dude, regardless of whether he has a heart defect, a genetic disorder, silly kidneys, or big feet like his daddy.
Maybe we won't be able to get pregnant again.
Maybe we will choose to not get pregnant again.
Maybe we will have a few more kids.
But since we don't know, we are counting our blessings because they sure are huge.
And we are pretty grateful for that.
{And since this was a yucky sad pity-party, here is a look at what is going on around here in regards to our two year old who always seems to be covered from head to toe with dirt by the end of the night.}

Not pictured:
The one million squirrels that have come to stop by daily.
One. Million.

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